Rice in Jacksonville, FL

Example Four




The first Acura Integra to grace this web site is certainly a good example
of the Rice bullshit we suffer through here in Jacksonville.


The first thing you notice are the, ahem, stylish wheels. One must be sure to invest in wheels worth a third of the car's value when it's rice.

"Isn't it lowered, too," you ask? Probably not. This look is achieved by taking a car that comes with 14" wheels and sticking 18" wheels on it. I imagine the handling capabilities of this car are just top-notch.


A look at the back reveals (drum roll)... another fart muffler! And a stylish MOMO license plate frame to match the wheels.

Now, you may question the point of that license plate frame. It's simple. When this particular Rice Boy is passing all of the other 4 cylinder rice cars, they will see that he has MOMO wheels, and instantly they will know where the extra 50 hp is from. Of course, with a fart muffler that loses so much torque to gain 3 hp, and wheels much too wide for what little torque the car already had, this Integra probably isn't passing anything but Metros.

Hmm... what is the point then?


     
Let's walk closer, shall we? Now we've all learned by now that if you install ANY aftermarket rice product, you must proudly display the sticker. This Rice Boy must have attended Rice 101 as well... because we find another endorsement of "I spent more money than my car is worth on MOMO Wheels". Also, a badge that supposedly tricks the eye into believing this is an Integra Type R. (From slightly further away all you see is the R. Nevermind that Integra Type R's are only available in WHITE.) Closer inspection reveals that this car is (probably) equipped with some sort of rice garbage "performance" part from Tenzo, yet another proud Rice company. I suppose it's the muffler, though I'm not sure. Who really cares anyway?

Alas, my friends, I did not check for foglights... though we can be sure they are there. 25 extra hp, after all.


As a side note, I raced this guy just a few days ago... it was a joke. Add "Tenzo" to your list of 'feared' competition. Ha.

Just another example of...

Jacksonville Rice!

For our sake, please, trash it and buy an American car!


Back to the Home Page