Jacksonville Rice!

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Please read the disclaimer before emailing. Hopefully it will cut down on the stupid emails.


Hello and welcome again from Jacksonville, FL. Home of sun, fun, old people, and RICE! We are infested here! I've finally had enough of these rice boys and rice girls and decided to put up this small web site, exposing some of the many examples of bad taste around this city.


We haven't updated in a while, our apologies for that. You will find new examples very soon, as well as new emails and responses.

Now, note that I said "rice girls", too. I would say they are simply driving their boyfriends' cars, but that would be an invalid statement, since we all know that Rice Boys can't get laid, which is why they rice out their cars.
Also, I would like to point out, as many other Rice Boy web pages do, that "Rice Boy" is not necessarily a racist term. Here is a definition of "Rice Boy":

rice-boy n. A person who buys a slow Japanese car produced for the purpose of fuel economy, and tries to make it LOOK fast by adding over-sized rims, decals, a World War II Bazooka exhaust tip, excessive lowering, and many other tacky items.*

*note: does not include actual fast cars, may also include domestic vehicles

A "Rice Boy" is a person who thinks that adding a large (and loud) exhaust tip, stickers, racing stripes, fancy rims, big spoiler, or ground effects to his/her car will actually make it faster. A "Rice Boy" is a person who cares more about making the car look fast than actually making it go fast. A "RiceBoy" is a person who thinks that 150 HP 4 cylinder can outrun a 300 hp V8.

Around Jacksonville (and most other places), the Rice Boys are almost all teen (ages 15-19) boys who have mommy buy their cars and their "performance parts" for them, because if they even have a job, it's at McDonalds, flipping burgers, and they don't make enough money themselves.

They wear their hats backward, they lean the seat way back, and they all act as though the world owes them something. These kids and their rice cars are a disgrace.


Rice Boys, their cars, and their attitudes are an annoying day-to-day
occurence here. Here is some of the garbage around town:
Example One
The black Neuspeed Civic
Example Two
The Flourescent Orange Civic
Example Three
The GReddy Civic
Example Four
The Tenzo-R Integra
Example Five
The Super Silly Celica
coming soon
Check back often, we have more examples to go!!



Look, I understand the need to personalize a car. But what I don't understand is buying the cheapest version of a front wheel drive economy car, then spending all this money to make it look so stupid! Expensive wheels, obnoxious mufflers, ridiculous spoilers and paint, extra fog lights, large AutoLite tachometers (for automatic transmissions, no less), tail light covers, etc. None of this makes your car significantly faster, and no matter how hard you try, your front-wheel drive imported rice burner will never be a performance car. So knock it off already!


A little insight for the Rice Boys who are visiting:

Let's look at some acronyms, shall we?
HONDA
How Odd, No Damned Acceleration
Had One, Never Did Again
Highly Overrated Nuisance Driving Around

ACURA
Another Cheap Underpowered Riceburning Automobile
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles

Frequently Asked Questions

Who the hell are you?
Citizens Against Rice, as the name should imply, is made up of several people. We all take pictures around town and meet periodically to share stories (laughter) and scan pictures. And no, I'm not giving you any of our names.

What the hell do *you* drive?
American rear wheel drive muscle, of the > 300 hp variety. That's all you need to know. We've all owned import cars at one point in our lives, but never did we embarass ourselves by adding the kind of shit that you see in the examples.

Can I send you some pictures I took of a car in town?
Certainly! We are going to create a new section of the site soon, for submitted pictures. If you would like to write up the review as well, please do. Send pictures (and reviews) to us here.

Do you know anything about cars?
Yes; do you? Please note: if your car is one of the featured examples, you've already answered this question with a resounding "NO."


Links

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click here.

The Ford Mustang vs. Honda Civic FAQ v1.2 - This link was submitted by one of our readers who maintains the FAQ. Enjoy!

Email C.A.R. - if you have a complaint, compliment, suggestion, or if you're just bored.

Email from our less amused viewers - our current favorites, and our responses.



Last Update: September 3, 1999     Number of Visitors since Day One:  

Produced and maintained by C.A.R. - Citizens Against Rice
Upset at seeing your car here? Want it removed? Email us and we'll talk. That is, if you know how to read.