Rice in Jacksonville, FL

First and foremost, the paint!

This actually has an official color-name. No, it isn't "Hunter Orange", it's called "What the F*ck Orange". I cannot think of any reason why this moron did this. To draw attention to himself? Making up for other shortcomings, I guess.

The grille cover

What the hell is that for? It seems to be getting popular down here, because just yesterday I saw another car (another Civic) with a white one. Judging by the foolishness of its appearance, I'd say it adds somewhere around 30 horsepower. Ha.

And now to the rear, (which you'd never have to see if you raced this car.)

Ridiculous spoiler

Ah yes, another common trend among "unique" rice boy cars is the spoiler that sticks out like a sore thumb. Ridiculous spoilers are, of course, useful in creating downforce when you're travelling at high speeds.
However, this will not help you, Rice Boy, and here's why:

• Your car won't actually reach speeds great enough to utilize the downforce.
• This spoiler wasn't designed with you car's shape in mind, and will actually hurt your "top end performance"
• Your rice burner is front wheel drive. As more weight transfers to the rear at higher speeds, any downforce a spoiler would give you will serve to transfer even more weight to the rear and away from the drive wheels - the front ones, you moron. You'll lose traction and thus speed.

Fart Muffler

I haven't yet figured out why Rice Boys add this. It makes your car sound like a riding lawn mower on crack and does not increase horsepower or torque. Instead, you become the object of laughter for every real performance car owner.

But wait, one more picture!

All badging is missing from this car

You want to know why? Because this is the lowest possible trim version of the Honda Civic, and Rice Boy is somewhat ashamed.

As always, stupid wheels

Here is what I don't understand. Why do Rice Boys buy the lowest trim Honda and then drop all this cash into stupid wheels? Save that wasted money and buy a nicer car instead!

Jacksonville Rice!